What Would Happen If Superheroes Played Football

Tom Brady in a 2008 game.

Tom Brady in a 2008 game. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some would say that a football game with superheroes would be unfair and ridiculous. But there are several players in today’s NFL league that resemble our superhero friends, some with an uncanny resemblance. What would the NFL look like with these mighty men from an alternate universe? There are five players  that I think match up pretty well with some comic book heroes:

Thor/Clay Matthews-GB: The similarities are uncanny! They both have the long blonde hair, the body strength, the god-like attitude when it’s time to face the enemy.  Matthews needs no hammer when he uses his own body to inflict damaging carnage on the field, and neither does Thor. No offensive line would be able to hold Thor back from destroying a quarterback. I don’t care how good Peyton Manning is, he is no match against Thor.

The Flash/Adrian Peterson– MIN: It is obvious that Adrian Peterson cannot run as fast as The Flash, but he is one heck of a running back and when he gets out in the open field he violates certain laws of physics. Most players gas out before they even get close to him on a full run! The Flash received his powers when a freak lightning bolt hits a nearby shelf in his lab and he gets powered up.   In 2011, Adrian Peterson tears his ACL and MCL, gets it repaired, and the following year has the best running game of his life rushing for 2,105 yards. Even though the Flash wears red I hear that purple is in these days.

Batman/Tom Brady – NE: This is a pretty close match. They are both wealthy, live in a mansion and are extremely good looking men. Batman is intelligent and accesses the best solutions for immediate situations. Brady does the same on the field. He can find a receiver, throw with precision and get the touchdown. He can take hit after hit, gets up and does it again. Imagine if Brady was athletic like Batman and could flip over defensive tackles with ease.

Superman/Andrew Luck – IND: I am not afraid to say it, but Cam Newton is NOT Superman as much as he would like to think he is.  But Andrew Luck, now he has the physique and look of Superman! He can throw a football with laserbeam qualities that resembles a bullet down the field. He is mild mannered like Clark Kent but when he is on the field he flies around like to get the job done.  And as many times as Luck has been sacked, he resembles the Man of Steel each and every time he gets up and goes after his opponents again.

The Incredible Hulk/Ndamukong Suh – DET: Well you might as well paint him green because Ndamukong Suh is just as mean and angry as the Hulk. Every time he sees a quarterback he spews out, “Suh smash” and then smashes them with no regret. When Suh talks to the media he appears mild like Hulks alter-ego David Banner, but once he becomes the Hulk he has no mercy.  That is Suh in a nutshell; just merciless.

It is not as farfetched to see the similarities of today’s athletes with our comic book heroes, but I’m glad they are not superheroes because they would have no excuse for losing a game. I’m used to human disappointment but not from my comic book heroes. Maybe some of the NFL teams could use some superhuman strength!

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